BEWARE when cleaning out closets...
So last night I got to hang out with samsam... I haven't seen her since last time I was home, but we had fun... I got to give her her b-day present, which I ordered a while ago, but then it was shipped home, and I wasn't there... so newho... she liked it... so YEAH!!! and then we watched kicking and screaming with momma rill and we talked about lots of other stuff too!!! we had a good time... and we get to spend the majority of the day on saturday together too!!! it's always a good time with sam sam :)
and on a completely different note...
as a fair warning, this next part is sad... so if you're already in a bad mood, you may not wish to continue reading...
So I've been working a lot and cleaning a lot, and today I decided to tackle the closet in the laundry room, which was a complete mess... so I get the the back of the closet and I find a bag with dirty cut up jeans, and at first I had no clue what it was... then i realized it was the cloths my father had been wearing the night of his accident... I didn't know it was back there, and not expecting to find something like that I was caught by surprise and I broke down... I started crying because I miss my dad, and then I got to thinking that I don't even remember that much about it.. I mean I was only 8 when he died, and it was 14 years ago... It made me sad that I couldn't remember much, so I decided to start looking through the old photographs we have of all of our family vacations and out birthdays and christmases... and although it was hard to look through those, it made me smile, because I started remember some things... like looking through the pictures... my dad used to wear short shorts... it's kinda funny but i guess it was before the whole grungh baggy style... and I saw some pictures of him and my mom together, and they looked so happy and so in love... there's one picture where it looks like my dad grabed my mom onto his lap and started kissing her, and my mom has a big smile on her face... I once again started missing him wishing that things had ended up different... and then I got to thinking of how different my life would be if none of it ever happened... and it's hard to imagine it, but I guess the end result would probably be a different person... we are shapped by what happens to us and the things we are forced to go through and sometimes, we can't explain why things happen but they forever change us... so in the end we just have to come to the realization that things didn't happen another way and accept who we are... and in the end, I think I've become a good person... I have my faults, but who doesn't...
well I've managed to get through it with some tears and some smiles too... and in the end I just have to remember the good times I had with my dad, and the good things he left behind for us... I will forever love him, and always have a special place in my heart just for him... but life must go on...
posted by Kristin @ 3:48 PM
3 Comments:
I will never know what it is like to grow up without a father, and I can only imagine how much harder it was for your family growing up. I love the person you are because you are a great person and a great friend. You are very determined and goal oriented. I agree that you are shaped by the events in your life, and life shaped you well, my friend. I miss you and sorry I haven't called in forever! (ok, so, really, i don't think I've called you at all since you moved...) I hope Illinois is treating you well, whether you are at the north or south ends of the state. Much love!!! ~Ang
I still remember the day the social worker came into Mrs. Gregory's 2nd grade class to tell us what had happened. Even though I barely knew you then, since you had just moved to town, I remember my heart hurting for you and trying to hold back tears cause I just couldn't imagine what you must have been going through.
I know it's 'cliche' but I believe things happen for a reason.
You've truely become an AMAZING woman, despite the unfortunate circumstances, but I love you just the way you are :O)
I can't wait to see you in a couple weeks at the wedding!!
Love Ya!
This post was so sad yet so sweet. In a limited sort of way, I can relate to your situation here. As you already know, we both lost our fathers to car accidents. I know what it's like to wonder what things would have been like and to wish that your father could see what you've become. Your dad would be SOO proud of you! Our situations are different however.. so there is nothing I can say other than I'm so sorry and that I love you!! I'm so happy I got to talk to you today!! Miss you so much!
Post a Comment
<< Home